When God Offends You
Have you ever felt offended? More than that, have you ever felt offended by God? I have. Don’t get me wrong—God is perfect and holy, incapable of any wrongdoing. Yet, perhaps like you, I have sometimes expected Him to act or intervene in a certain way, and He did not do what I expected. And when a gap exists between our expectations of what God will do and the reality of what He does, that gap has a name: Disappointment.
I’m not talking about those “Level 1 disappointments,” like when you expect to order your favorite meal at a restaurant, but you learn they don’t have it. (Although, if you’re hangry, that can be upgraded to a “Level 1.5 disappointment”!) But I’m talking about those deep, deep disappointments:
~ You expected God to heal a loved one, but he or she died.
~ You expected good news from your doctor, but the report was troubling.
~ You expected your parents to stay together, but your dad left or they divorced.
~ You expected to get into a certain school or job, but you were rejected.
~ You expected to be married by now, but you’re still single with no good prospects.
~ You expected your marriage to last till death do you part, but you got divorced.
~ You expected a baby, but you lost a baby (or babies), or you’re unable to conceive.
~ You expected to leave this earth before your child did, but he or she left before you.
~ You expected to be in a certain place financially by now, but you are nowhere close.
~ You expected a deep desire or dream to come to pass, but it appears impossible now.
Deep disappointments.
And for those of us who believe in God and His Word, these disappointments can sometimes feel more hurtful, because we know our God could have done something to prevent our pain. He could have changed things. He could have saved our loved one or our marriage or our baby or our dream. He could have, but He didn’t. Why didn't He? What do we do when it seems like God did not come through?
If you’ve ever had any of these feelings or thoughts, as I have, we are in great company. Many followers of Jesus have been confused by His methods at times, and I’m going to briefly highlight one of them.
John the Baptist was Jesus’ relative (possibly cousin), and he is often referred to as the “forerunner” of Jesus. In more modern terms, we might refer to John as Jesus’ hype man! He told people that Jesus was coming, and then when Jesus came, John basically said, “There He is, go follow Him!” So if anyone should have had rock-solid confidence in Jesus’ identity, it should have been John. Yet, in Matthew 11, we find an imprisoned John questioning the identity of the very One he had proclaimed to so many people:
2 Now when John heard in prison what the Christ was doing, he sent a message through his disciples 3 and asked him, “Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?”
4 Jesus replied to them, “Go and report to John what you hear and see: 5 The blind receive their sight, the lame walk, those with leprosy are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the poor are told the good news, 6 and blessed is the one who isn’t offended by me.”
Mathew 11:2-6 (CSB) (emphasis added)
I believe this Scripture should be incredibly encouraging to you and me. Remember, John was Jesus’ very own relative and forerunner, and he boldly declared Jesus’ identity to others. Yet, apparently, Jesus was not doing what John expected Him to do. Perhaps he expected Jesus to judge the wicked and establish His visible Kingdom on the earth at that time. Or perhaps John expected Jesus to deliver him from his unjust imprisonment at that time. We do not know for sure what John expected, but we do know this: Jesus’ actions did not match John’s expectations. That’s why he sent his disciples to ask Jesus if He was the One, or if they should expect someone else.
The fact that John—Jesus’ relative and hype man—found himself in this place of disappointment and confusion should encourage us if and when we find ourselves in that place too. What should be even more encouraging, though, is Jesus’ response. Did you notice that Jesus did not get mad at John? Instead of rebuking John, He instructed John’s disciples to report all they were hearing and seeing from His ministry.
Despite whatever John expected Jesus to do, Jesus’ healing ministry and proclamation of the good news did align with proper expectations of the Messiah (Matt 11:4-5, see Isa 61:1). He would finally judge the wicked and establish His Kingdom in the future, but now was a time of good news and grace. In essence, Jesus invited John to shift his focus from what he expected Jesus to do and to what Jesus was actually doing. And thus Jesus invited John to focus on His (Jesus’) character rather than his (John’s) circumstances.
Then, Jesus made a curious statement: “…and blessed is the one who isn’t offended by me.” What did Jesus mean by that? After researching the phrase “take offense” in Strong’s Lexicon, I found these definitions particularly interesting:
To cause a person to begin to distrust and desert one whom he ought to trust and obey
To cause to fall away
To be offended in one (i.e. to see in another what I disapprove of and what hinders me from acknowledging his authority)
Source: Blue Letter Bible
My friends, I hope to encourage you—even as I encourage myself—not to allow our disappointment from God’s actions (or apparent inactions) to cause us to…
distrust or desert Him whom we ought to trust and obey
fall away from following Him
stop acknowledging His authority
As Jesus encouraged John to do, let us view our circumstances through the lens of God’s character rather than viewing God’s character through the lens of our circumstances. When life is good, it’s easy to believe God is good. But let’s dare to remember He’s good even when life hurts.
Our faith can grow exponentially on the heels of disappointment, if we put our pain in God’s hands. But the opposite is also true—we can fall into deep disillusionment and despair after disappointments, and we can drift away from God, if the enemy has his way. This is precisely why we must have a game plan for when God does not do what we expect and disappointment strikes. Here are a few tips for us to consider:
1) We should not be ashamed of our disappointments and doubts. I’m so glad John was not too ashamed to verbalize his doubts to his disciples and ultimately to Jesus. Learning of his experience with Jesus helps build my faith. John’s example also encourages me to engage in the healthy emotional practice of acknowledging my feelings. Our feelings should not be our masters, but they should not be ignored either.
We may feel heartbroken, disoriented, forgotten, abandoned, or even betrayed by God. These feelings are real, and we should not pretend they don’t exist. We can camp out in this emotional place, but let’s not build a house there. Let’s cry, grieve, reach out to faith-building friends, and seek professional help if we need to. Let's be determined to truly engage our emotions, so God can heal us and help us move forward in healthy ways.
2) We should take our hurt to God instead of falling away from Him. It can be hard to pray when we’re hurting. The best we may be able to do for a while is just get into His presence and say “I’m hurting, Father.” He’s not afraid of our emotions or our questions.
3) We should surrender our expectations to God. Remember, our disappointment arises from the gap between our expectations and our reality. We sometimes expect things from God that He did not promise. Sometimes we misapply the promises of God to our circumstances. If we’re going to make it on this Christian journey, we must learn to trust God, even when—especially when—we don’t understand. We wouldn’t need faith if we knew everything.
I’m rooting for you, friend. And remember what Jesus said—blessed are those who are not offended by Him. I’ll take that blessing. How about you?
Your Sister-Friend,
Leah
